Sparkling Beauty

Make-up Application Tips For Ladies

Posted

on Apr 24, 2014 in Beauty Culture | 0 comments

Ready to learn some makeup application tips?

Makeup’s job isn’t to cover up your face, but to enhance your best features. A major plus is that you can also use it to down play features you don’t like as much.

The truth is that no one can teach you exactly how to apply your makeup in the way that you’ll like the most. If you keep at it you’ll develop skills over time and become your own makeup master. After all; who knows your face better than you do?

Let’s look at the makeup basics for beginners that you should know.

Makeup Must Haves

These are some of the makeup items you’ll need to get the look you want.

Foundation

Lip Gloss

makeup-powder

concealer

eyeliner

eyeshadow

mascara

cheek-color (Blush)

lip-liner

bronzer

eyelashes

contour

These are the must-haves for your everyday face and for those times when you want to put a makeup look together that has serious star power!

Makeup Quality Vs. Price

One of the most important tips I can give you is that when it comes to choosing makeup, always look for high quality. Don’t assume that if it’s expensive this is automatically true.

There’s lot of great makeup you can get for a reasonable price. The secret is to keep trying new makeup until you find things that work for you and that fit your budget. Never be afraid to ask for testers and samples. Try them, love them then buy them!

Makeup Application Tips On Color Selection

makeup-color-palette When you’re selecting makeup colors for black skin it’s important to get it right. You don’t want to be walking around looking like an extra from MJ’s ‘Thriller’ video! Just say no to foundation that’s too light, too dark and worst of all ashy.

Black skin has more natural pigment than any other race. That means we have to be extra careful and choose colors that compliment rather than clash!

It’s pretty simple to figure out the general family of colors you should lean towards when selecting your make up.

Your skin tone will generally fall under one of two categories. Here’s how you can know for sure which it is.

Take a long hard look at your skin and figure out whether you have red (warm) undertones or yellow (cool) undertones.

Ask yourself which color metal compliments your skin tone more; gold or silver? If it’s gold then your skin tone is warm and if it’s silver your skin tone is cool.

If you’re one of the few people who don’t predominantly have one of these two undertones and have a cross between the two you have to strike a balance of both types of makeup color groups.

Have Fun With Colors!

Once you get your concealer, foundation and powder on point, feel free to live it up and get really creative with your eye and lip colors.

Your cheek color and bronzer will generally be one or two that suit your skin and will go with everything else you choose.

Even when you get the colors right you can still go overboard if you try to put on too much at once.

The rule is to choose one feature at a time to glam up. If you want to get bold with your eyes, keep the lips neutral and if you’re going with a strong lip color keep the eyes light and fresh.

Keep these makeup application tips in mind and you’ll always choose the right colors to put you best face forward.

Makeup Application Tips Dos and Don’ts

There are lots of dos and don’ts that you should keep in mind when you’re applying your makeup. Let’s look at a short list of the most important ones.

Do

Do play up your best features! Long eyelashes are to beautiful eyes what short skirts are to great legs.

Do use a light hand. Remember you can always add more makeup if you need it.

Do blend! There should be no “stripes” on your face. You’re a lady, not a quarterback.

Do adjust the amount of make up to the time of day. Less for day, more for night.

Do use clean tools to do the job. Nothing is worse than using a dirty brush on a clean face.

Do cover your clothes with a towel/cape before full makeup. You don’t want to get messed up.

Do practice and try new things. That’s how you get better!

Don’t

Don’t go overboard. No need to wear layer upon layer of makeup. Clowns are cute but only at the circus!

Don’t focus on more than one feature at a time. Going for a strong lip? Then go easy on the eyes and vice versa too.

Don’t think that makeup will hide all your problems. If you have skin issues like acne, work on clearing it up before you wear makeup regularly.

Don’t fall into the trend trap. Just because you saw it in a beauty and style magazine doesn’t make it right for you!

Don’t wear what you don’t love. Don’t let the lady at the beauty counter convince you that you look great when you think you look like a “hot mess”.

Learning good makeup application tips isn’t hard. It’s 20% skill and 80% practice. As long as you stay far away from the no-no’s you’ll be fine! If you’re not satisfied with your work, just wash your face and start over! 

Healthy Hair Tips For Black Women

Healthy Hair Care Tips

Here are the top 7 healthy hair tips for black women that form the basis of what makes yours healthy and beautiful.

1. Wash your hair once every 3-4 days - Water is the only thing that can truly moisturize your hair. Try not to go longer than a week without at least a conditioner rinse.
   
2. Deep condition your hair regularly - A thick crème based conditioner, hooded dryer and plastic cap = magic. These things are your best friends when you realize what they do for your hair.
   
3. Use protein conditioner at least once a month - Strong hair is healthy hair. Infusing protein is a must no matter what condition your hair is in. Balance moisture and protein so your hair doesn't get brittle and dry. A good ratio is 4-6 moisturizing treatments to 1 protein treatment.
   
4. Take care of your scalp - Hot oil treatments every 2-4 weeks ensure a healthy nourished scalp. Organic castor oil stimulates hair growth and a few drops of tea tree oil keeps flakes away.
   
   5. Moisturize your ends daily - Sealing your ends keeps them from drying out and splitting. Healthy ends are the key to accumulating length.
      
   6. Wear protective styles often - Protective styling keeps your hair shielded from drying air and over manipulation.
      
   7. Trim your hair when it needs it - Having a set trimming schedule isn't necessary. Clip your ends when they need it and leave them alone if they don't.
   
   I guarantee these healthy hair tips for black women will give you results if you put them to work. Take it a step further and use these tips to custom design your own healthy hair regimen.
   
   

   How To Find The Right Eyebrow Shape

   Here are some step by step tips for finding the right eyebrow shape.
5. Use a straight edged object (a pencil or orange stick works well) and hold it vertically along the side of your nose so it reaches up to where your eyebrow starts (A). The place where the pencil meets your eyebrow is where it should naturally start.
6. Use the pencil again, look straight ahead and line up the pencil with the center of your pupil. The place where the pencil meets your eyebrow is where your arch should naturally start (B).
7. Hold the pencil at a diagonal from the outer corner of your eye to the corner of your nose so it extends up over your eyebrow. The place where the pencil meets your eyebrow is where your brow should end naturally (C).
8. Repeat the steps for your other eye

What Type Of Skin Do You Have?

Do you know what type of skin you have? Save yourself time, money and disappointment from trying products that don’t do anything you for you. Take a minute and do this quiz to find out!

How does your skin feel 5 minutes after you wash it with soap?

• a. Tight and stretched
• b. Smooth
• c. Dry and itchy
• d. Fine
• e. Dry in some parts and smooth in others

How does your skin feel 5 minutes after you wash it with a cream cleanser?

• a. Normal
• b. Smooth
• c. Itchy
• d. Oily
• e. Oily in some parts and smooth in others

How does your skin usually look at lunch time?

• a. Flaky with dry patches
• b. Fresh and cool
• c. Flaky and red
• d. Shiny
• e. Shiny along my T-zone

How often does your skin break out?

• a. Never
• b. Rarely, usually before my cycle kicks in
• c. Occasionally
• d. Regularly
• e. A lot, but in the T-zone

What happens to your skin when you use toner?

• a. It stings
• b. Nothing
• c. Stings and itches
• d. Feels great
• e. Feels good on some parts an stings on others

How does your skin feel after you use a heavy moisturizer?

• a. It feels great
• b. It feels o.k.
• c. Feels good sometimes and uncomfortable other times
• d. Very oily
• e. Oily in the T-zone and o.k. on my cheeks

What Type of Skin Do You Have?

Mainly A’s - Your skin is Dry
Mainly B’s - Your skin is Normal
Mainly C’s - Your skin is Sensitive
Mainly D’s - Your skin is Oily
Mainly E’s - Your skin is Combination

1.  
2.  
3.  

WEDDING THINGS

Thinking Of Writing Your Own Ceremony Vows? Read This First.

Writing your own vows won't be easy, but it will be totally worth it when you're up at that altar. Ready to get to work? Just take it one word at a time.

Photo by Justin & Mary

Step 1. Read dozens of vow examples for inspiration.

Start by reading traditional, by-the-book vows -- from your own religion, if you practice a certain faith, and others, as well -- to see what strikes a chord with you. You can incorporate these into the original words you write, or just use them as a jumping-off point for your personalized vows. Once you've found a few you love, consider what it is about the style that draws you to those vows in particular.

Step 2. Agree on format and tone with your fiance.

Decide how you want your vows to come across. Will they be humorous? Poetic and romantic? Go over the logistics too. Will you write them separately or together? Will they be completely different or will you make the same promises to each other, as you would with traditional vows? Some couples do a little of each. Finally, will you share them with each other or keep them a secret until the wedding day?

Step 3. Jot down notes about your relationship.

Take some time to reflect on your fiancé. Think about how you felt when you first met, what made you fall in love and when you knew you wanted to get married. Write it all out. Here are some questions to get you started:

• Why did you decide to get married?
• What hard times have you gone through together?
• What have you supported each other through?
• What challenges do you envision in your future?
• What do you want to accomplish together?
• What makes your relationship tick?
• What did you think when you first saw your fiance?
• When did you realize you were in love?
• What do you most respect about your partner?
• How has your life gotten better since meeting your mate?
• What about them inspires you?
• What do you miss most about them when you're apart?
• What qualities do you most admire in each other?

Step 4. Come up with one or two, or many, promises.

They're called vows for a reason, so the promises are the most important part! A tip: "Include promises that are broad in scope, such as 'I promise to always support you,' as well as very specific to the two of you, like 'I promise to say "I love you" every night before bed,'" says wedding celebrant Christopher Shelley.

Step 5. Write it all out.

Now that you have notes, it's time to establish a structure and write your first draft. Speechwriting expert Robert Lehrman suggests a four-part outline: Affirm your love, praise your partner, offer promises and close with a final vow. Another way to organize it is to start with a short story and then come back to it at the end.

Step 6. Banish clichés.

Now that you have your first draft, it's time to make edits. Borrow from poetry, books, religious and spiritual texts, even from romantic movies, but don't let someone else's words overpower your own. You want your vows to sound like you and relate to your relationship, and that won't happen if every word is borrowed from other sources. And if you find yourself relying on cliché phrases (you know, those sayings that have been used over and over so many times they no longer sound genuine) to get your point across, Shelley suggests coming up with a specific example from your relationship that has a similar message. For example, instead of saying, "Love is blind," you might say, "I think you're just as beautiful today as you are in a T-shirt and jeans."

Step 7. Take out anything too cryptic or embarrassing.

You've invited your family and friends to witness your vows in order to make your bond public, so be sure everyone feels included in the moment. That means putting a limit on inside jokes, deeply personal anecdotes and obscure nicknames or code words. Wedding celebrant and author Maureen Pollinger suggests, "Think about how your vows will sound to you 10 years from now." Have a friend or family member read it over ahead of time for feedback, if you're okay with sharing your vows beforehand.

Step 8. Shorten your vows to one to two minutes, max.

Your vows are important, but that doesn't mean they should drag on. "When someone says something in a very meaningful way, you don't have to say it over and over," Pollinger says. Pick the most important points and make them. If yours are running longer than two minutes, do an edit. Put some of the more personal thoughts in a letter or gift to your fiance on the morning of your wedding and save any guest-related topics for your toasts.

Step 9. Practice out loud (seriously!).

It might sound weird, but this really is the best way to prep. "When you practice, don't just do the same thing over and over. Listen each time – then do it better," Lehrman says. Your vows should be easy to say and sound conversational. As you recite them, listen for any tongue twisters and super-long sentences, then cut them. This is also the time to practice the delivery. "Stand straight, look at your spouse and use your hands expressively – but only use small gestures," Lehrman says.

Step 10. Make a clean copy for yourself.

The paper you read from should be legible, so even if you're working on it right up until a few moments before your ceremony, use a fresh piece of paper free of cross-outs, arrows and notes. And give some thought to the presentation too, because "it will end up in the photos," says Annie Lee, wedding planner and founder of Daughter of Design. "I suggest a nice note card that matches the wedding colors or a little notebook or pad. You can handwrite it or cut and paste the computer print to fit within that." And it also makes nice keepsake hang in your home later on. Have a backup plan too. Pollinger points out that some couples find themselves too emotional to speak (it happens!), so have your officiant either prompt you by quietly saying the vows first or read the vows on your behalf.

Vows Ceremony Wedding Wedding Advice + Etiquette

7 “Insider Tips” To Reduce Your Average Cost : Nigerian Weddings 101

If anything creates problems in planning a wedding, it is money. To side step problems, you need to do a lot of communicating with your partner and both …

 

If anything creates problems in planning a wedding, it is money.
To side step problems, you need to do a lot of communicating with your partner and both parents. Forget the archaic rule that says certain people have to pay for certain things. The bride’s parents don’t need to get a loan to pay for the wedding, and the groom’s parents are not off the hook either.
Besides, the both of you might be covering a good chunk of the expenses yourselves. The best way to sort it out is to sit down with paper, pen and calculator and figure out what you really want/and can afford.

As an expert, here are ‘insider’ tips to help you avoid those little known financial pitfalls and stick to your naija wedding budget.
1. Cut the Guest list: This will slash your catering costs and save on invitations and even the number of centerpieces to be used on tables
2. Hold your engagement/reception in one day: It will cut down cost by vendors/service providers
3. Have bigger/merge tables so you need fewer table cloths and centerpieces.
4. Use less expensive centerpieces like gels, colored water, long stems and so on. Keep it simple.
5. Use a DJ instead of a Live band who will play good songs for both young/old.
6. Hire a wedding coordinator to handle D-day coordination of event and service providers.
7. Make use of your cousins or relatives as hostesses/ushers to help in coordinating activities for the day

Wedding Makeup Ideas - Bridal Makeup Tips For A Glowing Fresh-Faced Look on your Wedding Day

You want to look your best on your wedding day and the wedding makeup ideas shared in this article will help you achieve exactly that.
There are a few very good reasons to take your wedding makeup look seriously.

• Your wedding is likely going to be best day of your life.


• Take the breath of your groom away when he looks at you as you walk down the aisle to him.


• Look your very best for the camera as those pictures will last a life time

There are a few things that make up your wedding look and they are:

• The wedding dress


• The wedding makeover - Face makeup, nails, head-tie or hairstyle and accessories (headpiece, veil, earrings, necklace).


• The wedding shoes


• The bridal makeup ideas in this article are for your face makeup and manicures. Usually the person who does the makeup does the nails too. And then for your body, mind and spirit. After all beauty they say starts from within.

Wedding Makeup Ideas - Bridal Makeup Tips

For a glowing fresh-faced look on your wedding day you'll need to do more than just sit down on the morning of your wedding day for a makeup artist to work on your face. For the perfect wedding day look do the following.
Start planning early
Start your skin and nail care plan early. Say 6 weeks before the wedding day.
Hire a makeup artist
Decide on who to do your makeup for you. Before you make that decision look at bridal makeup looks photos and start talking to makeup artists whose work impresses you.
If you have a friend or family member that's good with applying wedding makeup and you want to use him or her then make sure he or she will take it seriously. Have him or her do some makeup trials on you before you finally decide.
Decide on a makeup look
Have your makeup trial 1-2 months before the wedding. Go with one or two friends/family members/bridesmaids so that you'll have a second opinion of the look.
When going for your makeup trial, so your makeup artist knows where to start from, go with pictures of makeup looks that appeals to you. You can get that either from magazines or on the Internet. You'll likely find some that speak to you from our bridal makeup looks photos gallery.
Choosing makeup colors
Your wedding makeup colors should compliment your wedding dress and bouquet colors. Same thing for your bridesmaids makeup. It should compliment their dress and bouquet colors.
Choosing a makeup style
Your wedding makeup style should depend on two things:

• Your preference
• The time the wedding will hold

You want your wedding look to really stand out from your everyday makeup look. However you still want to be yourself. How have you always liked your makeup? Loud or mild? And what does your groom think of makeup in general? For example I had an ex who always said to me when I wore makeup that he'll rather I don't wear makeup that he loves my face just as it is. Now if you're marrying someone like that you want to be considerate to his feelings about makeup. That is insist your artist keep your makeup as natural as possible but that still gives you that radiant look.
The time of the wedding is also important to consider. Will it hold in the day time as is often the case with Nigerian weddings or will it hold in the evening?
If it will hold in the day time, then do your makeup trial during the day. Or if it's in the evening do your makeup trial in the evening. It will allow you a better judgment of what look will be best for you.
If you're having you wedding in the morning/afternoon, a lighter more natural look will suit you better. And if it's in the evening then go for a bit dramatic look.
- See more at: http://www.nigerianweddingsguide.com/wedding-makeup-ideas.html#sthash.tJLqyXBa.dpuf

Wedding Makeup Ideas - Bridal Makeup Tips For A Glowing Fresh-Faced Look on your Wedding Day

You want to look your best on your wedding day and the wedding makeup ideas shared in this article will help you achieve exactly that.
There are a few very good reasons to take your wedding makeup look seriously.

• Your wedding is likely going to be best day of your life.


• Take the breath of your groom away when he looks at you as you walk down the aisle to him.


• Look your very best for the camera as those pictures will last a life time

There are a few things that make up your wedding look and they are:

• The wedding dress


• The wedding makeover - Face makeup, nails, head-tie or hairstyle and accessories (headpiece, veil, earrings, necklace).


• The wedding shoes


• The bridal makeup ideas in this article are for your face makeup and manicures. Usually the person who does the makeup does the nails too. And then for your body, mind and spirit. After all beauty they say starts from within.

Wedding Makeup Ideas - Bridal Makeup Tips

For a glowing fresh-faced look on your wedding day you'll need to do more than just sit down on the morning of your wedding day for a makeup artist to work on your face. For the perfect wedding day look do the following.
Start planning early
Start your skin and nail care plan early. Say 6 weeks before the wedding day.
Hire a makeup artist
Decide on who to do your makeup for you. Before you make that decision look at bridal makeup looks photos and start talking to makeup artists whose work impresses you.
If you have a friend or family member that's good with applying wedding makeup and you want to use him or her then make sure he or she will take it seriously. Have him or her do some makeup trials on you before you finally decide.
Decide on a makeup look
Have your makeup trial 1-2 months before the wedding. Go with one or two friends/family members/bridesmaids so that you'll have a second opinion of the look.
When going for your makeup trial, so your makeup artist knows where to start from, go with pictures of makeup looks that appeals to you. You can get that either from magazines or on the Internet. You'll likely find some that speak to you from our bridal makeup looks photos gallery.
Choosing makeup colors
Your wedding makeup colors should compliment your wedding dress and bouquet colors. Same thing for your bridesmaids makeup. It should compliment their dress and bouquet colors.
Choosing a makeup style
Your wedding makeup style should depend on two things:

• Your preference
• The time the wedding will hold

You want your wedding look to really stand out from your everyday makeup look. However you still want to be yourself. How have you always liked your makeup? Loud or mild? And what does your groom think of makeup in general? For example I had an ex who always said to me when I wore makeup that he'll rather I don't wear makeup that he loves my face just as it is. Now if you're marrying someone like that you want to be considerate to his feelings about makeup. That is insist your artist keep your makeup as natural as possible but that still gives you that radiant look.
The time of the wedding is also important to consider. Will it hold in the day time as is often the case with Nigerian weddings or will it hold in the evening?
If it will hold in the day time, then do your makeup trial during the day. Or if it's in the evening do your makeup trial in the evening. It will allow you a better judgment of what look will be best for you.
If you're having you wedding in the morning/afternoon, a lighter more natural look will suit you better. And if it's in the evening then go for a bit dramatic look.
- See more at: http://www.nigerianweddingsguide.com/wedding-makeup-ideas.html#sthash.tJLqyXBa.dpuf

Wedding Makeup Ideas - Bridal Makeup Tips For A Glowing Fresh-Faced Look on your Wedding Day

You want to look your best on your wedding day and the wedding makeup ideas shared in this article will help you achieve exactly that.
There are a few very good reasons to take your wedding makeup look seriously.

• Your wedding is likely going to be best day of your life.


• Take the breath of your groom away when he looks at you as you walk down the aisle to him.


• Look your very best for the camera as those pictures will last a life time

There are a few things that make up your wedding look and they are:

• The wedding dress


• The wedding makeover - Face makeup, nails, head-tie or hairstyle and accessories (headpiece, veil, earrings, necklace).


• The wedding shoes


• The bridal makeup ideas in this article are for your face makeup and manicures. Usually the person who does the makeup does the nails too. And then for your body, mind and spirit. After all beauty they say starts from within.

Wedding Makeup Ideas - Bridal Makeup Tips

For a glowing fresh-faced look on your wedding day you'll need to do more than just sit down on the morning of your wedding day for a makeup artist to work on your face. For the perfect wedding day look do the following.
Start planning early
Start your skin and nail care plan early. Say 6 weeks before the wedding day.
Hire a makeup artist
Decide on who to do your makeup for you. Before you make that decision look at bridal makeup looks photos and start talking to makeup artists whose work impresses you.
If you have a friend or family member that's good with applying wedding makeup and you want to use him or her then make sure he or she will take it seriously. Have him or her do some makeup trials on you before you finally decide.
Decide on a makeup look
Have your makeup trial 1-2 months before the wedding. Go with one or two friends/family members/bridesmaids so that you'll have a second opinion of the look.
When going for your makeup trial, so your makeup artist knows where to start from, go with pictures of makeup looks that appeals to you. You can get that either from magazines or on the Internet. You'll likely find some that speak to you from our bridal makeup looks photos gallery.
Choosing makeup colors
Your wedding makeup colors should compliment your wedding dress and bouquet colors. Same thing for your bridesmaids makeup. It should compliment their dress and bouquet colors.
Choosing a makeup style
Your wedding makeup style should depend on two things:

• Your preference
• The time the wedding will hold

You want your wedding look to really stand out from your everyday makeup look. However you still want to be yourself. How have you always liked your makeup? Loud or mild? And what does your groom think of makeup in general? For example I had an ex who always said to me when I wore makeup that he'll rather I don't wear makeup that he loves my face just as it is. Now if you're marrying someone like that you want to be considerate to his feelings about makeup. That is insist your artist keep your makeup as natural as possible but that still gives you that radiant look.
The time of the wedding is also important to consider. Will it hold in the day time as is often the case with Nigerian weddings or will it hold in the evening?
If it will hold in the day time, then do your makeup trial during the day. Or if it's in the evening do your makeup trial in the evening. It will allow you a better judgment of what look will be best for you.
If you're having you wedding in the morning/afternoon, a lighter more natural look will suit you better. And if it's in the evening then go for a bit dramatic look.
- See more at: http://www.nigerianweddingsguide.com/wedding-makeup-ideas.html#sthash.tJLqyXBa.dpuf

You'll find many beautiful wedding dress styles when you're shopping for a wedding dress. And you can really get confused, even frustrated, if you don't know what you're looking for. So what wedding dress style should you look for and why?
That question is complicated. And to fully answer it will take a few detailed articles, which is why this article on wedding dress designs is in different parts. This is the first part of the article.
So why does it have to take several articles to answer the question about choosing the perfect dress style for you?
It's because there are different parts that makes a wedding dress and each part has its own style. So you'll not just be choosing a single style for your wedding dress but a combination of styles for the different parts it carries.
When you go for wedding dress shopping and you find one you think you like here's mostly what will be included in the description of the dress:

• Waistline:
• Dress Length:
• Sleeve Style:
• Silhouette (or Style):
• Neckline Style:
• Color:
• Train:
• Color:
• Fabric:
• Beading:
• Train Length:
• Decoration

If you don't know about the elements that make the wedding gown, the different styles each elements has and what each style is about, you can't know if the wedding dress you choose is the best to flatter your body features on your wedding day so you look your very best.
So in this series on wedding dress styles I'll be discussing the different elements of a wedding gown, the common styles available and what styles you should choose to give a flattering look that will leave lasting impression on your guests on your wedding day. To achieve a flattering look we'll have to talk about face and body shapes, neck, shoulder and bone structures.
In the end you'll be well educated and the decision about what wedding gown style to choose will become much easier to make saving you a lot of time and frustration because you will know exactly what you're looking for and why.
Try not to get overwhelmed with all the details provided. Even if it's only one thing you pick from the articles on wedding dress styles, it will still give you an edge over the bride who didn't know any better.

Elements/Parts of a Wedding Dress - Wedding dress anatomy

The different elements of the wedding dress we'll be discussing are:

• Sleeve
• Neckline
• The Bodice
• Waistline
• Silhouette
• Skirt
• Fabric
• Embellishment
• Train
• Veil
• Color

- See more at: http://www.nigerianweddingsguide.com/wedding-dress-styles.html#sthash.foUmuSVM.dpuf

You'll find many beautiful wedding dress styles when you're shopping for a wedding dress. And you can really get confused, even frustrated, if you don't know what you're looking for. So what wedding dress style should you look for and why?
That question is complicated. And to fully answer it will take a few detailed articles, which is why this article on wedding dress designs is in different parts. This is the first part of the article.
So why does it have to take several articles to answer the question about choosing the perfect dress style for you?
It's because there are different parts that makes a wedding dress and each part has its own style. So you'll not just be choosing a single style for your wedding dress but a combination of styles for the different parts it carries.
When you go for wedding dress shopping and you find one you think you like here's mostly what will be included in the description of the dress:

• Waistline:
• Dress Length:
• Sleeve Style:
• Silhouette (or Style):
• Neckline Style:
• Color:
• Train:
• Color:
• Fabric:
• Beading:
• Train Length:
• Decoration

If you don't know about the elements that make the wedding gown, the different styles each elements has and what each style is about, you can't know if the wedding dress you choose is the best to flatter your body features on your wedding day so you look your very best.
So in this series on wedding dress styles I'll be discussing the different elements of a wedding gown, the common styles available and what styles you should choose to give a flattering look that will leave lasting impression on your guests on your wedding day. To achieve a flattering look we'll have to talk about face and body shapes, neck, shoulder and bone structures.
In the end you'll be well educated and the decision about what wedding gown style to choose will become much easier to make saving you a lot of time and frustration because you will know exactly what you're looking for and why.
Try not to get overwhelmed with all the details provided. Even if it's only one thing you pick from the articles on wedding dress styles, it will still give you an edge over the bride who didn't know any better.

Elements/Parts of a Wedding Dress - Wedding dress anatomy

The different elements of the wedding dress we'll be discussing are:

• Sleeve
• Neckline
• The Bodice
• Waistline
• Silhouette
• Skirt
• Fabric
• Embellishment
• Train
• Veil
• Color

- See more at: http://www.nigerianweddingsguide.com/wedding-dress-styles.html#sthash.foUmuSVM.dpuf

You'll find many beautiful wedding dress styles when you're shopping for a wedding dress. And you can really get confused, even frustrated, if you don't know what you're looking for. So what wedding dress style should you look for and why?
That question is complicated. And to fully answer it will take a few detailed articles, which is why this article on wedding dress designs is in different parts. This is the first part of the article.
So why does it have to take several articles to answer the question about choosing the perfect dress style for you?
It's because there are different parts that makes a wedding dress and each part has its own style. So you'll not just be choosing a single style for your wedding dress but a combination of styles for the different parts it carries.
When you go for wedding dress shopping and you find one you think you like here's mostly what will be included in the description of the dress:

• Waistline:
• Dress Length:
• Sleeve Style:
• Silhouette (or Style):
• Neckline Style:
• Color:
• Train:
• Color:
• Fabric:
• Beading:
• Train Length:
• Decoration

If you don't know about the elements that make the wedding gown, the different styles each elements has and what each style is about, you can't know if the wedding dress you choose is the best to flatter your body features on your wedding day so you look your very best.
So in this series on wedding dress styles I'll be discussing the different elements of a wedding gown, the common styles available and what styles you should choose to give a flattering look that will leave lasting impression on your guests on your wedding day. To achieve a flattering look we'll have to talk about face and body shapes, neck, shoulder and bone structures.
In the end you'll be well educated and the decision about what wedding gown style to choose will become much easier to make saving you a lot of time and frustration because you will know exactly what you're looking for and why.
Try not to get overwhelmed with all the details provided. Even if it's only one thing you pick from the articles on wedding dress styles, it will still give you an edge over the bride who didn't know any better.

Elements/Parts of a Wedding Dress - Wedding dress anatomy

The different elements of the wedding dress we'll be discussing are:

• Sleeve
• Neckline
• The Bodice
• Waistline
• Silhouette
• Skirt
• Fabric
• Embellishment
• Train
• Veil
• Color

- See more at: http://www.nigerianweddingsguide.com/wedding-dress-styles.html#sthash.foUmuSVM.dpuf

You'll find many beautiful wedding dress styles when you're shopping for a wedding dress. And you can really get confused, even frustrated, if you don't know what you're looking for. So what wedding dress style should you look for and why?
That question is complicated. And to fully answer it will take a few detailed articles, which is why this article on wedding dress designs is in different parts. This is the first part of the article.
So why does it have to take several articles to answer the question about choosing the perfect dress style for you?
It's because there are different parts that makes a wedding dress and each part has its own style. So you'll not just be choosing a single style for your wedding dress but a combination of styles for the different parts it carries.
When you go for wedding dress shopping and you find one you think you like here's mostly what will be included in the description of the dress:

• Waistline:
• Dress Length:
• Sleeve Style:
• Silhouette (or Style):
• Neckline Style:
• Color:
• Train:
• Color:
• Fabric:
• Beading:
• Train Length:
• Decoration

If you don't know about the elements that make the wedding gown, the different styles each elements has and what each style is about, you can't know if the wedding dress you choose is the best to flatter your body features on your wedding day so you look your very best.
So in this series on wedding dress styles I'll be discussing the different elements of a wedding gown, the common styles available and what styles you should choose to give a flattering look that will leave lasting impression on your guests on your wedding day. To achieve a flattering look we'll have to talk about face and body shapes, neck, shoulder and bone structures.
In the end you'll be well educated and the decision about what wedding gown style to choose will become much easier to make saving you a lot of time and frustration because you will know exactly what you're looking for and why.
Try not to get overwhelmed with all the details provided. Even if it's only one thing you pick from the articles on wedding dress styles, it will still give you an edge over the bride who didn't know any better.

Elements/Parts of a Wedding Dress - Wedding dress anatomy

The different elements of the wedding dress we'll be discussing are:

• Sleeve
• Neckline
• The Bodice
• Waistline
• Silhouette
• Skirt
• Fabric
• Embellishment
• Train
• Veil
• Color

- See more at: http://www.nigerianweddingsguide.com/wedding-dress-styles.html#sthash.foUmuSVM.dpuf

Wedding dress styles series - Types of Wedding Dress Sleeves And How To Choose The Perfect Sleeve For You - See more at: http://www.nigerianweddingsguide.com/wedding-dress-styles.html#sthash.foUmuSVM.dpuf

LOVE LIFE

 

First Date Behaviour

Is Honesty Really The Best Policy On Dates?

I don’t know about you, but there are details of my sexual history that I’m reluctant to share with a fully-fledged boyfriend, let alone someone I’ve just met online and might be going for a beer with. So then, how honest should you be on a date?
There’s clearly a difference between ‘lying’ and ‘withholding information,’ especially when it comes to dating. Going on a date with a girl who you explicitly told you were single, when really you have a live-in girlfriend would make you — ta da! — a liar. Going on a date with a girl and withholding the sordid details of your last breakup doesn’t make you a liar. You have no obligation to divulge such personal information. Even if she was to ask how your last relationship ended, you’re entitled to brush it off with; "It’s complicated, things didn’t work out too well but I’ll bore you with details another day," before briskly changing the subject and getting another round in. First dates should be about chemistry, finding out who you are and what you like and seeing if there’s enough of a spark for another date.
Possibly one of the least sexiest dates I’ve been on was with a man who revealed that his last two girlfriends had cheated on him and that he’s prone to the "odd bout" of depression. If I liked the guy and it was a (good) few dates in before I became privy to his troubled past, I’d be sympathetic. But the first date? Way too much information. I didn’t see him again after that.
The problem with over-sharing is, it freaks us out. Getting to know someone on a date is talking about your kooky family or sharing a holiday anecdote. Getting to know each other in a relationship is when the potentially uncomfortable truth comes out. I mean, if I’m on a first date with a guy I fancy I’m not going to admit that I’m prone to mood swings, hogging the bed and "odd bouts" of jealousy, am I?
From my dating experience, some topics should absolutely be out of bounds for the first date:
Your insecurities
We all have them, sure, and in time they’ll surface. And that's fine. But if you’re trying to impress a woman, she needs to think of you as strong and capable, not needy and emotional.
Your past
We want to know about you, not the bitch who broke your heart.
Your finances
Nothing is more of a mood killer than a man who moans. A man who moans about money — or lack of — is about as attractive as Boris Johnson in Speedos.
And the things you should always be honest about:
If you have children
You surely won’t want to waste your time dating a child-hater, and she won’t thank you for withholding such information, so let it out nice and early.
Your future
Having aspirations and goals is really sexy.
Your marital status
Note: ‘separated’ does not mean ‘single.’ It means ‘still married.’ You wouldn’t believe the number of girls I know who’ve found out, mid-third-date that his divorce is still ‘in progress.’
So, remember: lies aren’t cool, but retaining a sense of mystery certainly is.

How to Make Close Friends

Tips on Meeting People and Building Strong Friendships

We all know that friendship is a good thing. But did you know that friends have a huge impact on your happiness and quality of life? Good friends relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, prevent loneliness and isolation, and even strengthen your health. Despite their importance, close friendships don’t just happen. Many of us struggle to meet new friends and develop quality connections. Even when we’re willing to put in the time and effort, we don’t always know how to go about it. But whatever your age or circumstances, it's never too late to make new friends or reconnect with old ones. These tips can help.

Why friends are important

Our society tends to place an emphasis on romantic relationships. We think that if we can just find that right person, we’ll be happy and fulfilled. But research shows that friends are more important to psychological well-being than even our love and family relationships. Friends bring more happiness into our lives than virtually anything else. Not only that, our friendships (or lack thereof) have a powerful impact on our physical health. Studies show that a lack of social connection can be as damaging as smoking, drinking too much, or leading a sedentary lifestyle. The quality of our friendships is even tied to longevity.

Why online friends aren’t enough

Technology has shifted the definition of friendship in recent years. With the click of a button, we can add a friend or make a new connection. But having hundreds of online friends is not the same as having a close friend you can turn to or be with in person. Technology can facilitate social opportunities by helping you reconnect with old friends, start new relationships with people around the world who share similar interests, and maintain relationships with friends who don't live nearby. However, online friends can't hug you when a crisis hits, visit you when you're sick, or celebrate a happy occasion with you after work.
Our most important and powerful connections happen when we’re face-to-face. So make it a priority to stay in touch in the real world, not just online. You’ll get a lot more out of an in-person conversation than you will over text or social media comments.

The benefits of friendship

Good friends add special meaning to life. They help you share the good times and overcome the difficult ones. Among other things, good friends can:

• Improve your mood. Happiness can be infectious. Spending time with happy and positive friends can elevate your mood and boost your outlook.
• Help you to reach your goals. Whether you're trying to get fit, give up smoking, or otherwise improve your life, encouragement from a friend can really boost your willpower and increase your chances of success.
• Reduce your stress and depression. Having an active social life can bolster your immune system and help reduce isolation, a major contributing factor for depression.
• Support you through tough times. Even if it's just having someone to share your problems with, friends can help you cope with serious illness, the loss of a job or loved one, the breakup of a relationship, or any other challenge in life.
• Support you as you age. As you age, retirement, illness, and the death of loved ones can often leave you isolated. Having people you can turn to for company and support can provide purpose as you age and be a buffer against depression, disability, hardship, and loss. Staying socially engaged as you age keeps you feeling positive and boosts your happiness.
• Boost your sense of self-worth. Friendship is a two-way street, and the “give” side of the give-and-take contributes to your own sense of value and self-worth. Being there for your friends makes you feel needed and adds purpose to your life.

What to look for in a friend

Ideally, a friend is someone you trust who shares a deep level of understanding and communication with you. A good friend will show a genuine interest in what's going on in your life, what you have to say, and how you think and feel about things. He or she will accept you for who you are and listen to you attentively without judging you, telling your how to think or feel, or trying to change the subject.
As friendship works both ways, a friend is also someone you feel comfortable supporting and accepting, and someone with whom you share a bond of trust and loyalty. A good friend will feel comfortable sharing things about themselves with you.

Focus on the way a friendship feels, not what it looks like

When looking for new friends, try not to get too caught up in external qualifications and criteria. The most important thing in a friendship is how the relationship makes you feel—not how it looks on paper, how many things you have in common, or what others think. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do I feel better after spending time with this person?
• Do I feel free to be myself around this person?
• Do I feel safe, or do I feel like I have to watch what I say and do?
• Is the person supportive of me? Does he or she treat me with respect?
• Is this a person I feel that I could trust?

The bottom line: it the friendship feels good, it is good. But if a person tries to control you, criticizes you, abuses your generosity, or brings unwanted danger, drama, or negative influences into your life, it’s time to take a hard look at the value of the friendship. A good friendship does not require you to act against your own values, always agree with the other person, or disregard your own needs.

How to be more friendly and social

If you tend to be introverted or shy, it can feel uncomfortable to put yourself out there socially. But you don't have to be naturally outgoing or the life of the party to make new friends. You can make the extra effort to be more friendly and open to others, while still maintaining your own personality.

• Focus on others, not yourself. The key to connecting to other people is showing interest in them. When you’re truly interested in someone else’s thoughts, feelings, experiences, stories, and opinions, it shows—and they’ll like you for it. You’ll make far more friends by showing your interest rather than trying to get people interested in you.
• Be genuine. Showing interest in others can’t be faked. If you’re just pretending to listen or care, others will pick up on it. Rather than fostering greater connection, your efforts will likely backfire. No one likes to be manipulated or placated. If you’re not genuinely interested in the other person, than stop trying to connect.
• Pay attention. Make an effort to truly listen to the other person. By paying close attention to what they say, do, and how they interact, you’ll quickly get to know them. Little things go a long way, such as remembering someone’s preferences, the stories they’ve told you, and what’s going on in their life.

Self-disclosure: the key to turning acquaintances into friends

We all have acquaintances—people we exchange small talk with as we go about our day or trade jokes or insights with online. These relationships can be fulfilling in their own right, but what if you want to turn a casual acquaintance into a true friend?
Friendship is characterized by intimacy. True friends know things about each other: their values, struggles, goals, and interests. If you’d like to transition from acquaintances to friends, the best way to do so is to open up to the other person. You don’t have to reveal your most closely-held secret. Start small with something a little bit more personal than what you normally discuss and see how the other person responds. Do they seem interested and receptive? Do they reciprocate by disclosing something about themselves?

Gauging interest

Establishing and maintaining a friendship takes time and effort, and not everyone is open to that at all times. Friendship takes two, so it’s important to evaluate whether the other person is looking for new friends.

• Do they ask you questions about yourself, as if they’d like to get to know you better?
• Do they tell you things about themselves beyond surface small talk?
• Do they give you their full attention when you see them?
• Does the other person seem interested in exchanging contact information or making specific plans to get together?

If you can’t answer “yes” to most of these questions, the person may not be the best candidate at this time for friendship. They may not be open to a new friendship now, even if they genuinely like you. Maybe their social calendar is already overfilled or they’re too busy with other responsibilities. There are many possible reasons, so try not to take it personally!

Tips for meeting new people

Proximity is a huge factor in who we become friends with. We tend to make friends with people we cross paths with regularly: people we go to school with, work with, or live next to. The more we see someone, the more likely the chance of a friendship developing. So the places you frequent regularly are a good place to look for potential friends.
Another big factor in friendship is common interests. We tend to be drawn to people we share things with: an offbeat sense of humor, hobby, the same cultural background, a shared major or career path, kids the same age. Think about the things you like to do, the causes you care about, or anything you’re passionate about. Where could you go to meet people who share the same interests?

Making new friends: Where to start

When looking for places to meet new people, try to be open to new ideas and experiences. Not everything you try will be successful but you can always learn from the experience and hopefully have some fun while you’re at it.

• Volunteering can be a great way to help others while also meeting new people. Volunteering also gives you the opportunity to regularly practice and develop your social skills.
• Take a class or join a club to meet people with common interests, such as a book group, dinner club, or sports team. Websites such as Meetup.com can help you find local groups or start your own and connect with others who share similar interests.
• Walk a dog. It's good exercise for you, great fun for the animal, and an excellent way to meet people. Dog owners often stop and chat while their dogs sniff or play with each other. If dog ownership isn't right for you, volunteer to walk dogs from a shelter or a local rescue group.
• Invite a neighbor or work colleague for a drink or to a movie. Lots of other people feel just as uncomfortable about reaching out and making new friends as you do. Be the one to break the ice. Your neighbor or colleague will thank you later.
• Track down old friends via social media sites. Make the effort to reconnect and then turn your "online" friends into "real-world" friends by meeting up for coffee instead of chatting on Facebook or Twitter.
• Connect with your alumni association. Many colleges have alumni associations that meet regularly. You already have the college experience in common; talking about old times can be an easy conversation starter. Some associations also sponsor community service events or workshops where you can meet more people.
• Carpool to work. Many companies offer carpool programs. If your employer doesn't, simply ask your colleagues if they would like to share rides. It's a good conversation starter and will help you connect to people who live near you, as well as save on transport costs.
• Attend art gallery openings, book readings, lectures, music recitals, or other community events where you can meet people with similar interests. Check with your library or local paper for events near you.

What's stopping you from making friends?

Is something stopping you from building the friendships you’d like to have? Here are some of the common reasons people give—plus what you can do about it.

Too busy

Lots of us feel overbooked and overstressed, so it’s not surprising that we sometimes feel too busy for friends. Developing and maintaining friendships does take time and effort—there’s no getting around it. But even with a packed schedule, you can find ways to prioritize your friendships and make the time.

• Put it on your calendar. Schedule time for your friends just as you do for your less-enjoyable responsibilities. Make it automatic with a weekly or monthly standing appointment. Or simply make sure that you never leave a get together with a friend without setting the next date.
• Mix business and pleasure. Figure out a way to combine your socializing with errands or activities that you or your friend has to do anyways. It can be anything: going to the gym, getting a pedicure, walking the dog, shopping. It’s an easy way to spend time together while still being productive.
• Group it. If you truly don’t have time for multiple one-on-one sessions with friends, set up a group get together. It’s a good way to connect and also to introduce your friends to each other. Of course, you’ll need to make sure you’re organizing a compatible group.

Fear of rejection

Making new friends means putting yourself out there, and that can be scary. It’s especially intimidating if you’re someone with trust issues—someone who's been betrayed, traumatized, or abused in the past, or someone with an insecure attachment bond.
When you’re unable to trust others, your friendships will be dominated by fear—fear of betrayal, fear of being let down, fear of feeling vulnerable. But it is possible to learn to trust others. By working with the right therapist, you can identify the source of your mistrust and explore ways to build trust in existing and future friendships.
For more general insecurities and fear or rejection, it helps to evaluate your attitude. Are you telling yourself that if someone isn’t as interested in you as you are in them that it will be absolutely horrible and humiliating and the worst thing ever? Do you feel as if any rejection will haunt you forever or prove that you’re unlikeable or destined to be friendless? These fears get in the way of making satisfying connections. In that way, fear of rejection can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nobody likes to be rejected, but there are healthier ways to look at it that can make it less upsetting.

• Just because someone isn’t interested in talking or hanging out doesn’t automatically mean they’re rejecting you as a person. They may be busy, distracted, or have other things going on.
• If someone does reject you, that doesn’t mean that you’re worthless or unlovable. Maybe they’re having a bad day. Maybe they misread you or misinterpreted what you said. Or maybe they’re not a nice person! Again, a rejection is not necessarily a reflection on you.
• You’re not going to like everyone you meet, and vice versa. Like dating, building a solid network of friends can be a numbers game. Try to focus on the long-term goal of making quality connections, rather than getting caught up in the friendships that didn’t pan out.
• Keep rejection in perspective. It never feels good, but it’s rarely as bad as you imagine it will be. It’s unlikely that others are sitting around talking about it. There’s no big “R” for reject on your forehead branding you for life. Instead of beating yourself up, give yourself credit for trying and see what you can learn from the experience.

Improve your friendships by being a better friend

Remember that making a friend is just the beginning of the journey into friendship. Friendships take time to form and even more time to deepen. In order to move from acquaintance to close friend, you need to nurture and invest in that new connection. It's a process that requires time, effort, and a genuine interest in the other person.

• Be the friend that you would like to have. Treat your friend just as you want them to treat you. Be reliable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and willing to share yourself and your time.
• Be a good listener. To develop a solid friendship with someone, be prepared to listen and support them just as you want them to listen and support you.
• Give your friend space. Don't be too clingy or needy, and be sure not to abuse your friend's generosity. Everyone needs space to be alone or spend time with other people as well.
• Don't set too many rules and expectations. Instead, allow your friendship to evolve naturally. You're both unique individuals so your friendship probably won't develop exactly as you expect.
• Be forgiving. No one is perfect and every friend will make mistakes. No friendship develops smoothly so when there's a bump in the road, try to find a way to overcome the problem and move on. It will often deepen the bond of friendship between you.

How to Find Lasting Love

Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person

A healthy, loving relationship can enhance many aspects of your life, from your emotional and mental well-being to your physical health and overall happiness. For many of us, though, finding someone we want to share our lives with can seem like an impossible task. But don’t despair, even if you have a history of relationships that don’t last or if you feel burned out by traditional and online dating, you can still learn how to find lasting love.

Obstacles to finding lasting love

Life as a single person offers many rewards, including learning how to build a healthy relationship with yourself. However, if you’re ready to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting, worthwhile relationship, life as a single person can also be very frustrating.
Finding the right romantic partner is often a difficult journey, for several reasons. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists. Or maybe your dating history consists only of short, abrupt relationships where you or your partner gets bored too soon, and you don't know how to make a relationship last. You could be attracted to the wrong type of person or keep making the same bad choices over and over, due to an unresolved issue from your past. It's also possible you're not putting yourself in the best environments to meet the right person, or that when you do, you don't feel confident enough to approach someone. Whatever the case may be, it's important to believe that a healthy romantic relationship for you exists in the future.
It's also important to recognize that relationships are never perfect and always require lots of work, compromise, and a willingness to resolve conflict in a positive way. To find and build any relationship worth keeping, you may need to start by re-assessing some of your misconceptions about dating and relationships that can prevent you from finding lasting love:

Common Myths About Dating and Looking for Love
Myth	Reality
“I can only be happy and fulfilled if I’m in a relationship.” or “It’s better to have a bad relationship than no relationship.”	While there are health benefits that come with being in a healthy relationship, many people can be just as happy and fulfilled without being part of a couple. Despite the stigma in some social circles that accompanies being single, it’s important not to enter a relationship just to “fit in.” Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Nothing is as unhealthy and dispiriting as being in a bad relationship.
“If I don’t feel an instant attraction to someone, it’s not a relationship worth pursuing.”	This is an important myth to dispel, especially if you have a history of making inappropriate choices. Instant sexual attraction and lasting love do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. Emotions can change and deepen over time, and friends sometimes become lovers—if you give those relationships a chance to develop.
“Women have different emotions than men.”	Women and men feel similar things but sometimes express their feelings differently, often according to society’s conventions. But both men and women experience the same core emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, and joy.
“True love is constant.” or “Physical attraction fades over time.”	Love is rarely static, but that doesn’t mean love or physical attraction is doomed to fade over time. As we age, both men and women have fewer sexual hormones but emotion often influences passion more than hormones, and sexual passion can become stronger over time.
“I’ll be able to change the things I don’t like about someone.”	You can’t change anyone. People only change if and when they want to change.
“I didn’t feel close to my parents, so intimacy is always going to be uncomfortable for me.”	It’s never too late to change any pattern of behavior. Over time, and with enough effort, you can change the way you think, feel, and act.
“Disagreements always create problems in a relationship.”	Conflict doesn’t have to be negative or destructive. With the right resolution skills, conflict can also be an opportunity for growth in a relationship.

Expectations about dating and finding love

When we start looking for a long-term partner or enter into a romantic relationship, many of us do so with a predetermined set of (often unrealistic) expectations—such as how the person should look and behave, how the relationship should progress, and the roles each partner should fulfill. These expectations may be based on your family history, influence of your peer group, your past experiences, or even ideals portrayed in movies and TV shows. However, retaining many of these unrealistic expectations can make any potential partner seem inadequate and any new relationship feel disappointing.

Consider what's really important when looking for love

What feels right to you?

When looking for lasting love, forget what looks right, forget what you think should be right, and forget what your friends, parents, or other people think is right, and ask yourself: Does the relationship feel right to me?

The first step to finding a suitable partner is to distinguish between what you want and what you need in a partner. Wants are negotiable, needs are not. Wants include the things you think you'd like in a partner, including occupation, intellect, and physical attributes such as height, weight, and hair color. Even if certain traits may appear to be crucially important to you at first, over time you'll often find that you've been needlessly limiting your choices. For example, it may be more important, or at least as important, to find someone who is:

• Curious rather than extremely intelligent. Curious people tend to grow smarter over time, while those who are bright may languish intellectually if they lack curiosity.
• Sensual rather than sexy.
• Caring rather than beautiful or handsome.
• A little mysterious rather than glamorous.
• Humorous rather than wealthy.
• From a family with similar values to yours, rather than someone from a specific ethnic or social background.

Needs are different than wants in that needs are those things that matter to you most, such as values, ambitions, or goals in life. These are probably not the things you can find out about a person by eyeing them on the street, reading their profile on a dating site, or sharing a quick cocktail at a bar before last call.

What is a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on:

• Mutual respect
• Trust
• Honesty
• Support
• Fairness/equality
• Separate identities
• Good communication
• A sense of playfulness/fondness

Source: UW Seattle

Dating tips to help you find love #1: Keep things in perspective

• Don’t make your search for a relationship the center of your life. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. When you focus on keeping yourself happy, it will keep your life balanced and make you a more interesting person when you do meet someone special.
• Remember that first impressions aren't always reliable. Especially when it comes to Internet dating, people don’t always accurately portray themselves. Regardless of where or how you meet someone, though, it always takes time to really get to know that person. You have to experience being with someone in a variety of situations, some good and some not so good, before you really know him or her. For example, how well does this person hold up under pressure when things don't go well or when they're tired, frustrated, or hungry?
• Be honest about your own flaws and shortcomings. Everyone has a flaw—or several—and, for a relationship to last, you want someone to love you for the person you are, not the person you’d like to be, or the person he or she thinks you have the potential to become. In many cases, what you consider a flaw may actually be something another person finds quirky and appealing. By being honest and shedding all pretense, you’ll encourage the other person to do the same, which can lead to a fulfilling relationship.
• Invest in a vertical relationship before you invest in a horizontal relationship. Don't be too quick to make a relationship sexual as it often becomes harder to develop a good vertical relationship afterwards. Even though it can be difficult in this day and age, try to take your time to get to know someone first. It will only lead to a more satisfying sexual relationship down the road.

Dating tips to help you find love #2: Put a priority on having fun

Online dating, singles events, and matchmaking services like speed dating may prove successful and enjoyable for some people, but for many they lack spontaneity and often feel more like high-pressure job interviews than fun social occasions. And whatever dating experts might tell you, there is a big difference between finding the right career and finding lasting love.
Think of your time as a single person as a great opportunity to meet new people, expand your social circle, and participate in new events. Instead of scouring dating sites or hanging out in pick-up bars, find and participate in activities that interest you. Make your focus having fun, whatever that means to you. You don’t have to be the life of the party or be endlessly cracking jokes to have fun. But by pursuing activities you enjoy and by putting yourself in a new environment, it's likely you'll meet new people who share similar interests and values. By focusing on simply having fun, even if you don’t meet that special someone, you will still have enjoyed yourself and maybe forged new friendships as well.
Here are some tips to find fun activities and like-minded people:

• Volunteer for a favorite charity, animal shelter, or political campaign. Or even try a volunteer vacation (for details see Resources section below).
• Take an extension class at a local college or university.
• Sign up for dance classes, cooking classes, or art classes.
• Join a running club, hiking group, cycling group, or sports team.
• Join a theater group, film group, or attend a panel discussion at a museum.
• Find a local book group or photography club.
• Attend local food and wine tasting events or art gallery openings.
• Be creative: Write a list of activities available in your area and, with your eyes closed, randomly put a pin in one, even if it’s something you would never normally consider. How about pole dancing, origami, or lawn bowling? Getting out of your comfort zone can be rewarding in itself.

Dating tips to help you find love #3: Learn to handle rejection gracefully

At some point, everyone looking for love is going to have to deal with rejection—both as the person being rejected and the person doing the rejecting. Some people can be overcome with anger, embarrassment, or anxiety when faced with rejection, or are so frightened of it happening again, they avoid dating or starting new relationships. Others find it so difficult to reject another person, they find themselves caught up in prolonged, unhealthy relationships.
By staying positive and being honest with yourself and others, handling rejection can be far less intimidating. The key is to accept that rejection is an inevitable part of dating but to not spend too much time worrying about it. It’s never fatal.

Tips for handling rejection when dating and looking for love

• Don’t take it personally. If you’re rejected after one or a few dates, the other person is likely only rejecting you for superficial reasons you have no control over—some people just prefer blondes to brunettes, chatty people to quiet ones—or because they are unable to overcome their own issues, such as a fear of commitment. Be grateful for early rejections in a relationship as it can spare you much more pain down the road.
• Don’t dwell on it, but learn from the experience. Don’t beat yourself up over any mistakes you think you made. If it happens repeatedly, though, take some time to reflect on how you relate to others, and any problems you need to work on. Then let it go. By dealing with rejection in a healthy way it can increase your strength and resilience.
• Acknowledge your feelings. It’s often normal to feel a little hurt, resentful, disappointed, or even sad when faced with rejection. It's important to acknowledge your feelings without trying to suppress them. If you practice mindfulness, you’ll find that staying in touch with your feelings helps you quickly move on from negative experiences.

Dating tips to help you find love #4: Watch for relationship red flags

It's important to be aware of red-flag behaviors that may indicate a relationship is not going to lead to healthy, lasting love. In such cases, it's better to cut your losses early, rather than invest time in a relationship that isn't good for you or the other person. Trust your instincts and pay close attention to how the other person makes you feel. If you tend to feel insecure, ashamed, or undervalued, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.

Common relationship red flags:

• The relationship is alcohol dependent. You only communicate well—laugh, talk, make love—when one or both of you are under the influence of alcohol or other substances.
• There’s trouble making a commitment. For some people commitment is much more difficult than others. It's harder for them to trust others or to understand the benefits of a long-term relationship because of previous experiences or an unstable home life growing up.
• Nonverbal communication is off. Instead of wanting to connect with you, the other person’s attention is on other things like his or her phone or the TV.
• Jealousy about outside interests. One partner doesn’t like the other spending time with friends and family members outside the relationship.
• Controlling behavior. There is a desire on the part of one person to control the other, stop him or her from having independent thoughts and feelings.
• The relationship is exclusively sexual. There is no interest in the other person other than a physical interest. A meaningful and fulfilling relationship depends on more than just good sex.
• No one-on-one time. One partner only wants to be with the other as part of a group of people. If there’s no desire to spend quality time alone with you, outside of the bedroom, it can signify a greater issue.

Dating tips to help you find love #5: Deal with trust issues

Mutual trust is a cornerstone of any close personal relationship. If there is no trust in a relationship, it's impossible for you to feel safe and cared for by another person, or to make that person feel safe and cared for. In other words, without trust, lasting love can never blossom. Of course, trust doesn’t develop overnight; it develops over time as your connection with another person deepens and you learn more about each other. However, if you're someone with trust issues—someone who's been betrayed, traumatized, or abused in the past, or someone with an insecure attachment bond—then you may find it impossible to trust others and find lasting love.
When you’re unable to trust others, your romantic relationships will be dominated by fear—fear of being betrayed by the other person, fear of being let down, or fear of feeling vulnerable. But it is possible to learn to trust others. By working with the right therapist, you can identify the source of your mistrust and explore ways to build trust in existing and future relationships.

Therapy for trust issues

The key to overcoming trust issues in your personal relationships is to work with a therapist you feel comfortable talking to, someone who will be your partner in overcoming the problem. Obviously, having trust issues can make finding a therapist you trust and feel comfortable with difficult, but for many people the therapy process can be the ideal way to learn to trust again.
Don’t be discouraged if you think therapy is inaccessible or too expensive. Group therapy may be more affordable than individual therapy and can be just as effective at dealing with trust issues. In fact, having more people present means there are more opportunities for you to practice developing trust. Alternately, some individual therapists will accept sliding scale payments where you pay what you can afford for each session, while some community organizations offer therapy at discounted rates. To learn more, read: Finding a Therapist Who Can Help You Heal.
Learning to develop trust is a process, but with the right help you can be rewarded with richer, more fulfilling relationships and the chance to find lasting love.

Dating tips to help you find love #6: Nurture your budding relationship

Remember that finding the right person is just the beginning of the journey, not the destination. In order to move from casual dating to a committed, loving relationship, you need to nurture that new connection. It's a process that requires time, effort, and a genuine interest in the other person as a whole. It also requires an openness to compromise and change.
All relationships change over time. You’ll change over time, your partner will change, and so will both of your needs and expectations. What you want from a relationship at the beginning may be very different from what you and your partner want from that same relationship a few months or years down the road.
For a romantic relationship to blossom into lasting love you need to be willing and able to:

• Invest in the relationship. No relationship will run smoothly without regular attention, so ask yourself if you are willing to invest the time and effort into this relationship. Often, after the initial blush of romance has faded, couples switch off from one another, but the more you invest in each other, the more you grow to care. Find things you enjoy doing together and commit to spending the time to do them, even when you’re busy or stressed.
• Communicate openly. Is your partner genuinely interested in your thoughts and feelings? Are you comfortable expressing your own opinions, thoughts, and feelings around this person? Are you playful, open, and able to laugh together and enjoy each other's company? Your partner is not a mind reader, so tell him or her how you feel. When you both feel comfortable expressing your needs, fears, and desires, the bond between you will become stronger and deeper.
• Resolve conflict by fighting fair. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. No matter how you approach the differences in your relationship, the important thing is that you aren't fearful of conflict. You need to feel safe to express the things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and to be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.
• Accept change. Every relationship changes and goes through good and bad periods, but overall a healthy relationship should continue to be good for you. It should bring the best out in you and should not only make you happier, but also make you a better person: kinder, more empathic, and more generous.

• How to Make Close Friends

  Tips on Meeting People and Building Strong Friendships

  We all know that friendship is a good thing. But did you know that friends have a huge impact on your happiness and quality of life? Good friends relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, prevent loneliness and isolation, and even strengthen your health. Despite their importance, close friendships don’t just happen. Many of us struggle to meet new friends and develop quality connections. Even when we’re willing to put in the time and effort, we don’t always know how to go about it. But whatever your age or circumstances, it's never too late to make new friends or reconnect with old ones. These tips can help.
  

  Why friends are important

  Our society tends to place an emphasis on romantic relationships. We think that if we can just find that right person, we’ll be happy and fulfilled. But research shows that friends are more important to psychological well-being than even our love and family relationships. Friends bring more happiness into our lives than virtually anything else. Not only that, our friendships (or lack thereof) have a powerful impact on our physical health. Studies show that a lack of social connection can be as damaging as smoking, drinking too much, or leading a sedentary lifestyle. The quality of our friendships is even tied to longevity.
  

  Why online friends aren’t enough

  Technology has shifted the definition of friendship in recent years. With the click of a button, we can add a friend or make a new connection. But having hundreds of online friends is not the same as having a close friend you can turn to or be with in person. Technology can facilitate social opportunities by helping you reconnect with old friends, start new relationships with people around the world who share similar interests, and maintain relationships with friends who don't live nearby. However, online friends can't hug you when a crisis hits, visit you when you're sick, or celebrate a happy occasion with you after work.
  Our most important and powerful connections happen when we’re face-to-face. So make it a priority to stay in touch in the real world, not just online. You’ll get a lot more out of an in-person conversation than you will over text or social media comments.
  

  The benefits of friendship

  Good friends add special meaning to life. They help you share the good times and overcome the difficult ones. Among other things, good friends can:
  

  • Improve your mood. Happiness can be infectious. Spending time with happy and positive friends can elevate your mood and boost your outlook.
  • Help you to reach your goals. Whether you're trying to get fit, give up smoking, or otherwise improve your life, encouragement from a friend can really boost your willpower and increase your chances of success.
  • Reduce your stress and depression. Having an active social life can bolster your immune system and help reduce isolation, a major contributing factor for depression.
  • Support you through tough times. Even if it's just having someone to share your problems with, friends can help you cope with serious illness, the loss of a job or loved one, the breakup of a relationship, or any other challenge in life.
  • Support you as you age. As you age, retirement, illness, and the death of loved ones can often leave you isolated. Having people you can turn to for company and support can provide purpose as you age and be a buffer against depression, disability, hardship, and loss. Staying socially engaged as you age keeps you feeling positive and boosts your happiness.
  • Boost your sense of self-worth. Friendship is a two-way street, and the “give” side of the give-and-take contributes to your own sense of value and self-worth. Being there for your friends makes you feel needed and adds purpose to your life.

  What to look for in a friend

  Ideally, a friend is someone you trust who shares a deep level of understanding and communication with you. A good friend will show a genuine interest in what's going on in your life, what you have to say, and how you think and feel about things. He or she will accept you for who you are and listen to you attentively without judging you, telling your how to think or feel, or trying to change the subject.
  As friendship works both ways, a friend is also someone you feel comfortable supporting and accepting, and someone with whom you share a bond of trust and loyalty. A good friend will feel comfortable sharing things about themselves with you.
  

  Focus on the way a friendship feels, not what it looks like

  When looking for new friends, try not to get too caught up in external qualifications and criteria. The most important thing in a friendship is how the relationship makes you feel—not how it looks on paper, how many things you have in common, or what others think. Ask yourself the following questions:
  

  • Do I feel better after spending time with this person?
  • Do I feel free to be myself around this person?
  • Do I feel safe, or do I feel like I have to watch what I say and do?
  • Is the person supportive of me? Does he or she treat me with respect?
  • Is this a person I feel that I could trust?

  The bottom line: it the friendship feels good, it is good. But if a person tries to control you, criticizes you, abuses your generosity, or brings unwanted danger, drama, or negative influences into your life, it’s time to take a hard look at the value of the friendship. A good friendship does not require you to act against your own values, always agree with the other person, or disregard your own needs.
  

  How to be more friendly and social

  If you tend to be introverted or shy, it can feel uncomfortable to put yourself out there socially. But you don't have to be naturally outgoing or the life of the party to make new friends. You can make the extra effort to be more friendly and open to others, while still maintaining your own personality.
  

  • Focus on others, not yourself. The key to connecting to other people is showing interest in them. When you’re truly interested in someone else’s thoughts, feelings, experiences, stories, and opinions, it shows—and they’ll like you for it. You’ll make far more friends by showing your interest rather than trying to get people interested in you.
  • Be genuine. Showing interest in others can’t be faked. If you’re just pretending to listen or care, others will pick up on it. Rather than fostering greater connection, your efforts will likely backfire. No one likes to be manipulated or placated. If you’re not genuinely interested in the other person, than stop trying to connect.
  • Pay attention. Make an effort to truly listen to the other person. By paying close attention to what they say, do, and how they interact, you’ll quickly get to know them. Little things go a long way, such as remembering someone’s preferences, the stories they’ve told you, and what’s going on in their life.

  Self-disclosure: the key to turning acquaintances into friends

  We all have acquaintances—people we exchange small talk with as we go about our day or trade jokes or insights with online. These relationships can be fulfilling in their own right, but what if you want to turn a casual acquaintance into a true friend?
  Friendship is characterized by intimacy. True friends know things about each other: their values, struggles, goals, and interests. If you’d like to transition from acquaintances to friends, the best way to do so is to open up to the other person. You don’t have to reveal your most closely-held secret. Start small with something a little bit more personal than what you normally discuss and see how the other person responds. Do they seem interested and receptive? Do they reciprocate by disclosing something about themselves?
  

  Gauging interest

  Establishing and maintaining a friendship takes time and effort, and not everyone is open to that at all times. Friendship takes two, so it’s important to evaluate whether the other person is looking for new friends.
  

  • Do they ask you questions about yourself, as if they’d like to get to know you better?
  • Do they tell you things about themselves beyond surface small talk?
  • Do they give you their full attention when you see them?
  • Does the other person seem interested in exchanging contact information or making specific plans to get together?

  If you can’t answer “yes” to most of these questions, the person may not be the best candidate at this time for friendship. They may not be open to a new friendship now, even if they genuinely like you. Maybe their social calendar is already overfilled or they’re too busy with other responsibilities. There are many possible reasons, so try not to take it personally!

  Tips for meeting new people

  Proximity is a huge factor in who we become friends with. We tend to make friends with people we cross paths with regularly: people we go to school with, work with, or live next to. The more we see someone, the more likely the chance of a friendship developing. So the places you frequent regularly are a good place to look for potential friends.
  Another big factor in friendship is common interests. We tend to be drawn to people we share things with: an offbeat sense of humor, hobby, the same cultural background, a shared major or career path, kids the same age. Think about the things you like to do, the causes you care about, or anything you’re passionate about. Where could you go to meet people who share the same interests?
  

  Making new friends: Where to start

  When looking for places to meet new people, try to be open to new ideas and experiences. Not everything you try will be successful but you can always learn from the experience and hopefully have some fun while you’re at it.
  

  • Volunteering can be a great way to help others while also meeting new people. Volunteering also gives you the opportunity to regularly practice and develop your social skills.
  • Take a class or join a club to meet people with common interests, such as a book group, dinner club, or sports team. Websites such as Meetup.com can help you find local groups or start your own and connect with others who share similar interests.
  • Walk a dog. It's good exercise for you, great fun for the animal, and an excellent way to meet people. Dog owners often stop and chat while their dogs sniff or play with each other. If dog ownership isn't right for you, volunteer to walk dogs from a shelter or a local rescue group.
  • Invite a neighbor or work colleague for a drink or to a movie. Lots of other people feel just as uncomfortable about reaching out and making new friends as you do. Be the one to break the ice. Your neighbor or colleague will thank you later.
  • Track down old friends via social media sites. Make the effort to reconnect and then turn your "online" friends into "real-world" friends by meeting up for coffee instead of chatting on Facebook or Twitter.
  • Connect with your alumni association. Many colleges have alumni associations that meet regularly. You already have the college experience in common; talking about old times can be an easy conversation starter. Some associations also sponsor community service events or workshops where you can meet more people.
  • Carpool to work. Many companies offer carpool programs. If your employer doesn't, simply ask your colleagues if they would like to share rides. It's a good conversation starter and will help you connect to people who live near you, as well as save on transport costs.
  • Attend art gallery openings, book readings, lectures, music recitals, or other community events where you can meet people with similar interests. Check with your library or local paper for events near you.

  What's stopping you from making friends?

  Is something stopping you from building the friendships you’d like to have? Here are some of the common reasons people give—plus what you can do about it.
  

  Too busy

  Lots of us feel overbooked and overstressed, so it’s not surprising that we sometimes feel too busy for friends. Developing and maintaining friendships does take time and effort—there’s no getting around it. But even with a packed schedule, you can find ways to prioritize your friendships and make the time.
  

  • Put it on your calendar. Schedule time for your friends just as you do for your less-enjoyable responsibilities. Make it automatic with a weekly or monthly standing appointment. Or simply make sure that you never leave a get together with a friend without setting the next date.
  • Mix business and pleasure. Figure out a way to combine your socializing with errands or activities that you or your friend has to do anyways. It can be anything: going to the gym, getting a pedicure, walking the dog, shopping. It’s an easy way to spend time together while still being productive.
  • Group it. If you truly don’t have time for multiple one-on-one sessions with friends, set up a group get together. It’s a good way to connect and also to introduce your friends to each other. Of course, you’ll need to make sure you’re organizing a compatible group.

  Fear of rejection

  Making new friends means putting yourself out there, and that can be scary. It’s especially intimidating if you’re someone with trust issues—someone who's been betrayed, traumatized, or abused in the past, or someone with an insecure attachment bond.
  When you’re unable to trust others, your friendships will be dominated by fear—fear of betrayal, fear of being let down, fear of feeling vulnerable. But it is possible to learn to trust others. By working with the right therapist, you can identify the source of your mistrust and explore ways to build trust in existing and future friendships.
  For more general insecurities and fear or rejection, it helps to evaluate your attitude. Are you telling yourself that if someone isn’t as interested in you as you are in them that it will be absolutely horrible and humiliating and the worst thing ever? Do you feel as if any rejection will haunt you forever or prove that you’re unlikeable or destined to be friendless? These fears get in the way of making satisfying connections. In that way, fear of rejection can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nobody likes to be rejected, but there are healthier ways to look at it that can make it less upsetting.
  

  • Just because someone isn’t interested in talking or hanging out doesn’t automatically mean they’re rejecting you as a person. They may be busy, distracted, or have other things going on.
  • If someone does reject you, that doesn’t mean that you’re worthless or unlovable. Maybe they’re having a bad day. Maybe they misread you or misinterpreted what you said. Or maybe they’re not a nice person! Again, a rejection is not necessarily a reflection on you.
  • You’re not going to like everyone you meet, and vice versa. Like dating, building a solid network of friends can be a numbers game. Try to focus on the long-term goal of making quality connections, rather than getting caught up in the friendships that didn’t pan out.
  • Keep rejection in perspective. It never feels good, but it’s rarely as bad as you imagine it will be. It’s unlikely that others are sitting around talking about it. There’s no big “R” for reject on your forehead branding you for life. Instead of beating yourself up, give yourself credit for trying and see what you can learn from the experience.

  Improve your friendships by being a better friend

  Remember that making a friend is just the beginning of the journey into friendship. Friendships take time to form and even more time to deepen. In order to move from acquaintance to close friend, you need to nurture and invest in that new connection. It's a process that requires time, effort, and a genuine interest in the other person.
  

  • Be the friend that you would like to have. Treat your friend just as you want them to treat you. Be reliable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and willing to share yourself and your time.
  • Be a good listener. To develop a solid friendship with someone, be prepared to listen and support them just as you want them to listen and support you.
  • Give your friend space. Don't be too clingy or needy, and be sure not to abuse your friend's generosity. Everyone needs space to be alone or spend time with other people as well.
  • Don't set too many rules and expectations. Instead, allow your friendship to evolve naturally. You're both unique individuals so your friendship probably won't develop exactly as you expect.
  • Be forgiving. No one is perfect and every friend will make mistakes. No friendship develops smoothly so when there's a bump in the road, try to find a way to overcome the problem and move on. It will often deepen the bond of friendship between you.